I read this article this morning and parts of it just made me giggle out loud. Especially the name of the movement - The Virgin Lips Movement. I am so mature.
I would like to know your thoughts. Here are mine.
Michael and I saved kissing (on the lips) for our wedding day, but certainly not our wedding ceremony. When he told me that he'd like to wait until our wedding to kiss me, I was quite a bit concerned. Kiss you for the first time in front of 500 people? I don't think so. How is that special?
So we talked through it, and decided that our first kiss could be on our wedding day, but before the ceremony. Thankfully I have a considerate spouse who understood my reasons! Anyway, it was perfect.
I would never judge anyone for making a different choice. In our situation, Michael took the leadership, knowing what he could handle and setting the boundaries he needed to set. We were definitely on the same page when it came to saving sexual intimacy for marriage. And although I never thought that I could or would be one of those who waited for kissing, it ended up being the best decision for us.
Granted, we did have a 4 month engagement, so it's not like we accomplished anything of great proportion. However, it wasn't the easiest thing ever, either. I really like Michael. We had to rely on God's grace, and set up boundaries for ourselves in order to accomplish the goal. Emphasis on God's grace.
I definitely think that teens (and pre-teens!) are involved WAY too soon in relationships where they are tempted to share more of themselves than they are prepared to share, emotionally and physically. I would never want to be in school now with all the craziness that is going on, things I've heard about that make me blush and at the same time, break my heart for these kids.
Here is an interesting quote from Mr. Mohler's article,
"In The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women, Valenti presses her case, suggesting that when young women aim for virginity and fail, they suffer a loss of self-esteem."
That idea makes me pretty mad, actually. So we shouldn't expect anything of our kids, because if they fail, they will suffer a loss of self esteem? (What would happen if we applied this logic to other areas of life - calculus? physics? anyone?) I think it's sad that we expect our teens to fail in the area of sexual purity. God is big enough, gives enough grace to help each believer overcome ANY temptation, combat ANY sin.
And if there is a failure, in ANY area, God's forgiveness is big enough, His grace is sufficient to help me get past it. He sees all sin in the same light - it is an affront to His character. So my laziness, or pride, or anger is the same thing as someone else's murder, or sexual sin. It's all the same sin to God - it is all horrible, something He cannot have in His presence, something He sent Jesus to die for and something that Jesus' blood can completely wash away.
That is amazing.
So what makes it such a huge deal when someone fails in this area? Certainly some of the consequences are pretty scary, are definitely life changing. I think we also need to check our reaction as believers. Do we respond as God does? Ready to forgive, forget, embrace? He is ready to wash this (and every) repentant sinner clean - we stand unblemished in His presence because of Jesus' blood. Do we allow others to stand forgiven? Something to think about.
So what do you think? Is the expectation of sexual purity too high of an expectation for our kids? Is the "Virgin Lips Movement" totally ridiculous? What are your thoughts, or your experiences? Wax eloquent, please. I can't wait to see what you have to say.