Wednesday, April 12

but i feel like asking

I was talking to a customer the other day about an issue that needs to be resolved, yet I can do nothing about except wait for all parties to do their jobs. After I thanked him for his patience, he said, "there's no use for me to get angry. It doesn't help the problem get solved and it [makes you mad] so you don't want to talk to me." This coming from a man who is in all probability an unbeliever. What a rebuke!

Just this week I found myself upset because our van is having major issues--a burned out transmission started it all, but in the process, the mechanic found about 4 other issues that need to be fixed and we are probably going to end up spending as much for repairs as we did to buy the van in the first place. Honestly, frustration is building. House repairs may quite possibly be at a standstill until more resources become available due to this unexpected expense. Timeline for move-in? unknown.

There is a war going on in my heart. Questions about provisions, about what our needs really are, about why, about how, about when. And then, Scripture floods my mind, and the war is on.

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (matt 7:11)

Since when do I get to know why God is doing what He is doing? It really doesn't matter if I know why or when or how. God loves me, and I know that He will always do what is best. God who cannot lie promises to meet my needs. He has proven time and again what a faithful provider He is.

I have forgotten
-the greatest gift of all, salvation! All "needs" pale in comparisson to this one, met by God's grace

-friends and family to encourage me spiritually

-medical bills, paid in full (two hospital visits with no insurance)

-the time mom & I prayed for new upstairs carpet without telling anyone else and God provided us with FREE carpet! (and why was I shocked)

-the FREE cars we got growing up (at least 2, I lost count)

-thanksgiving baskets

-checks in the mail, or slipped to us at church when "no one" knew we needed money

-graduating with no college debt

-a place to live for two years plus, virtually rent-free

-free furniture, over and over

-wonderful jobs for both of us, health insurance
and MORE provisions, too numerous to count.

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. (ps 69:11)

8 comments:

nate and lissa said...

We are praying for you guys, love you

Anonymous said...

Thanks! I really needed to read this. We can definitely identify. I'm sure I already told you that we are buying a house--and we are sooo greatful. Then, 2 weeks ago we were in a car accident and John's car was totalled. My first response (after the initial shock) was, "How can this possibly be God's timing?" But it's just another opportunity to witness God's provision--to learn to trust in Him and not to lean on my own understanding.

Jenny said...

Yikes, Ruth. I'm glad you're still alive!! How's your insurance?

pamela s said...

Jer. 29-10-12 has helped me very much recently. God has a plan that is much better than what we could think of. Seeing God's past blessing always helps us keep our future in perspective too.
I know when I try to see what the future will bring, I start to get scared b/c I forget to place God in the future with us. When I think that way, it's sooo much better!
Don't worry, He'll supply you guys the wisdom needed to make through these decisions!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, I'm glad I'm alive too. :) I only had a sprained wrist and some bruises from the airbag--John escaped unscathed. We have much to be thankful for. Our insurance is good; and the other party was at fault, so our deductible should be covered. God's Grace is abundant. I am praying for you guys.

Love ya/miss ya

Kelli said...

It is hard not to question God's timing, but we know His way is always perfect! I will be praying for you as he continues to meet your needs. I will also pray that the van repairs won't be too expensive! Thank you for your testimony through this! That is an encouragement to me.

Jenny said...

an update - God has, in the last 2 days, given us $410 we were not expecting through people in our church! He always is faithful, and I know He will provide all the funds we need! Thanks for praying, everyone!

Unknown said...

I know I'm late to comment on this post Jenny but I want to add my praise to God for His provision. We have a super low amount of money coming in since we both only work part time and Matt does school full time but God ALWAYS meets our needs. I can't wait to see how God gets your van fixed (our provides you another mode of transport) in unexpected ways!