Does anyone else have a temper-tantrum-thrower? Mine is almost 4, and will throw a big old tantrum at least once per week. I just got off the phone with my mom and she said she doesn't remember us throwing tantrums. Wow, and I would have pegged myself as a many-tantrum child, but I guess not.
I know what I do, how I handle it - not always well, not always effectively, but I am relatively consistent. But I'm curious - how do YOU handle tantrums, full out tantrums in a public place? Key thought there - public place!!! (ours are handled somewhat the same in public and in private, btw)
I want to clarify - the tantrums are bothering me less but that is more because of my outlook, and some godly counsel from some awesome women of God, and most of all - THE HOLY SPIRIT!!! But they are very concerning for me. I so want my children to understand the heart of God and true repentance.
So, please share. I'm endeavoring to be a student of your parenting skills!
1 comment:
tantrum-ers? ...i've had 3 and probably a fourth developing...
temper tantrums, so far, are always handled by removing the child from the situation - if we are out in public, then i take that as a sign that it is time to go home (i.e. shopping); if we are visiting a new church (horror of horrors), we try and find an unused room or quiet corner of the church... and i refuse to interact (unless physical restraint is required - i will straightjacket hold if needed) until the child is calm.
discipline is usually a spanking (but that is determined individually - as one of our kids does not respond at all to spankings), but consequences are for shaming family and God, impoliteness/unkindness to others around (i.e. other shoppers), not using self-control and thinking of self first instead of considering others... never the fact that child disagreed or was upset with a decision i made.
temper tantrums are priority... if i'm talking with someone, i excuse myself and i don't apologize while the tantrum is occuring... although i might later... depending on circumstances and occasionally i'll have the child return and apologize, write a note, contribute to one of the charity boxes at the restaurant, etc., for disturbing others, again depending on the situation.
i also don't engage in fun behavior until the child has indicated repentance... i take care of needs, pray and hold if hurt... but don't want to listen to funny stories or play games or read stories or take to the park (you get the idea) until the child has done something age appropriate to restore the relationship... ask forgiveness, say sorry, given many kisses (again, depends on the child).
if tantrum-er is younger than 2.5 or doesn't have the necessary verbal skills to talk for 3-4 minutes about behavior, then the whole scenaria must be dealt with pretty quickly. otherwise, they can wait 20-30 minutes.
also, there are times that the tantrum is mama's fault - i've pushed harder, kid is tired... then i don't have consequences other than home/down for a nap - and mama has already received her consequence.
if that doesn't make sense... holler.
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