Tuesday, November 18

getting duller

I used to be articulate. I used to be able to keep a to do list in my head, and not forget. I used to be well read and up on current events. I used to polish my shoes on a weekly basis, and never, ever missed a shower. I used to be able to remember the names of the authors of great literary works. I used to read more than the nutrition panels on boxes of breakfast cereal. And I used to know right and left without looking down to see which hand my wedding band is on.

Then, I had children. And I realize how much sleep is worth. It's value is pure gold. Platinum. More. And I'm realizing that I wasn't really ever that creative or clever. It was simply that I was gluttonously imbibing in hours upon hours of uninterrupted sleep.

When Aaron was about 18 months, I got the hang of our new normal, finally, and was almost back to my rested self...only to get pregnant again. Now, with two children, I wonder what I was fussing about with one. And I'm sure mothers of three and five and seven look at me and my crazy hair and wrinkled pants and sigh disparagingly.

Well, I reason, today is different. It must be this sinus pressure that is causing all the confusion, all the sleepiness. Ha. ha. ha. Who am I kidding?

I don't really mind this loss of mental acuity. But I would be in denial to not confess that I do hope my articulate self will one day return. I definitely wouldn't trade my kids for anything, and I would rather be here with them than anywhere else.

And, I'm still trying to learn things, even though I'm not so good at remembering. Today, as it has been for weeks, my prayer is simply this:

"Lord, help me to seek You as diligently as I seek sleep!"

7 comments:

Mama Mia said...

I hear ya! Sleep is the most valuable commodity in this house! And Mommy Brain Mush...I'm not so sure that we get our memory cells back. I've seen my mom have some pretty amazing blond moments lately. I'm seriously worried about her genes in my brain!

Tim and Richelle said...

Don't worry - you do adjust to a semi-permanent sleep deprived state and your brain learns to function again. Most days, I don't feel so brain muddled anymore (it has only taken 10+ years)... However, my craving for interrupted and significant blocks of time sleeping only continues to increase. :-)

Some day...............

Life in Lewisburg said...

Sleep is a wonderful thing. A lack of sleep when your in High School, A lack of sleep when your in College, A lack of sleep when you are pregnant, A lack of sleep when you have kids, then teenagers, and then a lack of sleep when you are old.
Sleep is a gift from God for sure. I found I had to nap when the kids napped. Just so I could function.
I pray you get sleep soon.

jeileenbaylor said...

yea - I have already lost some brain cells during the pregnancy, not sure how much worse it's gonna get when I am not getting any sleep :)

Rosemary and Dale said...

I think that you are doing GREAT!! - given that you do have the "most important job" on the planet. This is so funny!...AND articulate! MUCH better than the average writer who DOESN'T even have little ones.
My daughter had to start working nights, while her husband worked days, beginning when their youngest of 3 was about one year old. We used to take the kids to our house on the weekend for 24 blessed hours (hers - for sleep, and ours - for our 'grandkid fix'!)

Mary Ann said...

You crack me up! I know just what you're talking about but I don't have any kids. So what is my problem? I blame all of these kinds of mental issues on a vitamin deficiency. I'm not sure which vitamin(s) is/are deficient in my diet, but there is definitely something lacking upon occasion ;-)

Karis said...

I hear ya! I loved my Spanish language classes in high school and college but Momnesia has definitely made French language learning much more difficult. I've been back into the uninterrupted night of sleep phase of being a mom for awhile now so I really shouldn't complain, but even with that blessing, the efficient learning mode is not the same.