Wednesday, July 11

don't blink

They told me it would happen, as I cuddled my freshly born son. They told me that time would start to crash and swirl around me like the disappearing waves of the ocean. That a year would pass like a week. Like a freshly made mother, I ignored their winking, smiling words. And here we stand on the brink of toddlerhood, and I realize that indeed, a year has passed.

One year ago today I was enjoying my freedom from my desk job, and was happily picking blueberries with mom and Shelley. Our house looked hopelessly removed from anything resembling the cozy home I had imagined during our first walk through, and I was praying that the baby would wait to be born until the drywall was up, the painting was done, and we could think about packing. I was 12 days away from my doctor's due date and trying to ignore old wives' tales about full moons bringing on labor.

I was exactly 3 weeks away from meeting Aaron.

Which means, my little boy will be turning one in three weeks. We'll probably have a small gathering (that he won't remember) and we might let him have something resembling cake to play in for the photos. And then, I fear, this cycle will repeat itself, and another year will pass as swiftly as this first with our child.

I've learned so much this year - thought about things I hadn't given a moment's time before - things like shots and feeding and elimination habits and sleeping and schedules and teaching obedience. I'm sure that the experienced moms out there just smile with that smile that says, "Just wait, honey" all the while thinking that I've only begun to learn, to grow, to be a mom.

Today, I pray hard. I pray for my child, that He will grow strong in every way, but most importantly that he will be born spiritually, and grow in grace. I pray for us as we practice parenting. And I pray that God will write these everyday moments in my heart, that I may treasure the gifts He gives.

11 comments:

Rachel and Jacob said...

beautiful thoughts.
I bet your an awesome mom :)
aaron is lucky

Karen said...

sniff, sniff. I know the feeling completely. Sobering...

Rachel said...

Okay - you are going to make me cry. My little guy is almost 2 and it doesn't seem possible. So cliche, I know but time whips by. No doubt, you are incredibly thankful to be at home with him, enjoying every second.:) I love the picture you posted of him, it's very cute.

Don & Katrina Hines said...

I took a moment to remember you in my prayers today. I pray that Aaron would come to know our great Savior on a personal level. Thanks for your thoughts!

Alicia said...

You put my (and most moms') emotions into such lovely poetic words! You're right, the next year will go by just as quickly. Sigh. I very distinctly remember being a newbie mom and inwardly rolling my eyes when all the experienced moms said the time will fly. It certainly didn't feel that way during the first few exhausting weeks.

Tonight though, looking at my Chloe in her big girl bed, I just teared up. She's growing up so incredibly fast - praise the Lord we're stay at home moms and can enjoy all the wonderful moments that make up each year.

Tricia said...

Way to go, Jenny...you had to go and make me tear up and make my nose feel all funny! It is all so true what you said (as I cuddle with my newborn daughter and interact with my 4 and 2 year old - who seem so young and so old at the same time)! I feel so inadequate to this awesome task and am thankful that God uses the weak things of this world to show His mighty power. Thank you also for the reminder to pray...it is such a vital part of parenting (and all of life).

Kelly Glupker said...

What a sweet post! You are such a good writer!!!! You sure have a way with words.

Michael & Sandra Herriage said...

I have no idea what you are feeling, but you do have a way with words. By the way - it was awesome to see you in Midland a few weeks ago, though the moments were far too short. Come visit Florida!

Matt & Nicki said...

More often than not, your posts about parenting are quite a rebuke to me. Thanks for sharing and for being so transparent!

Anonymous said...

We miss you guys so much and we especially miss watching little Aaron grow up. Give him a kiss from us and here's a hug for you and Michael!
Love,
Nate and Lissa

Stephens said...

I hope I never give you those, "Just wait, honey" comments. I never have stomached those well and still don't. Maybe it's that rebellion in me to say, "I'll show you. . . ." or "Well, thanks for the optimism and encouragement." Jenny, I think you are doing a wonderful job! We just love you guys and praise God for your friendship. We pray for you as you raise Aaron and pray for God's drawing him to Himself at a young age. Yeah, time flies by, but it's so awesome to make all of these memories and see how God is growing and changing our kids and US! May we cherish these special times.