Saturday, April 7

and then

Aaron is teething, or getting sick, or some other malady unknown to me, his mother. Finding himself frustrated that he cannot describe in detail his complaint, he decided he would like some extra cuddles and proceeded to make it known in the only way he knows.

WAHHHHHHHHH!

The familiar strain drifted down the hallway. As I picked him up, he snuggled his little head into my shoulder and sighed mightily. I could almost feel his relief. His little body relaxed and quieted. And then. And then, (I am choking up even as I try to type these words) he stretched his little neck, turned up his little face, pressed his lips to my cheek, and kissed me. He nestled down again, this time under my chin. And then he kissed me again. His big eyes sparkled in the glow and flicker of the night light as he looked at me and smiled, like I was the best thing ever. A few minutes later, with a peacefully sleeping son, I crept back down the hallway, overwhelmed with (what I choose to interperate to be) this first pure expression of love. I am the most blessed mommy in the whole wide world.

Today, as our church choir practiced for our Easter Cantata, I was struck again with my personal responsibility for my sin and for the death of Christ on the cross. I am in awe of the Great Love poured out on us through the atoning gift of Jesus, God's only Son. I am without words to describe how utterly unworthy I am to receive His salvation - offered without condition, without cost to me - when it was obviously of great cost to Him.

To be anything but fully prostrated with gratefulness would be an insult to this kind of Love, this kind of sacrifice. I fall on my face before my Lord, and with gulping, heaving sobs try to find words to say to Him.

I am nothing, less than nothing. And you LOVE me. YOU. So far above me. I cannot understand, for Your thoughts are beyond my comprehension. You created me to know You, to love You, and to revel in You and honor You forever. I PRAISE YOU!!!! I am Your child, and You have blessed me with blessings.

5 comments:

Matt & Nicki said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. .. I am saddened by how infrequently I am in complete AWE of our Great God. HE is RISEN! Happy Easter

Alicia said...

God has given you such a gift for writing, dear sister. What a beautiful moment God gave you with Aaron! It floors me how much we as moms can comfort and effect our kiddos. And the bond of love between us and our children is so huge . . . it makes the reality of Jesus' death to His Father so much richer. Thank God Christianity didn't end with the death of our Messiah - what power and love and hope is in our Jesus!

Don & Katrina Hines said...

Isn't our God great! I am so thankful that we have a special time to commemorate His death and His life! I think we need those times to once again focus on His free gift that we so oftentimes take for granted! Thanks again for the wonderful reminder of our Great God!

What a sweet story about Aaron as well! It melted my heart!

Andrew and Renee said...

Thanks for sharing how greatly you were and are impacted by Christ's loving sacrifice. It is a rebuke to me. I often go way too long in between those times, and that is sad. As you said, anything but life-sacrificing gratefulness is an insult to His love. Thanks for the reminder! We love you guys. Oh, and thanks for the story about Aaron.....that is sooo precious! I'm jealous. :)

ruth said...

Thank you for sharing this, Jenny.

Miss you!