Aaron is teething, or getting sick, or some other malady unknown to me, his mother. Finding himself frustrated that he cannot describe in detail his complaint, he decided he would like some extra cuddles and proceeded to make it known in the only way he knows.
The familiar strain drifted down the hallway. As I picked him up, he snuggled his little head into my shoulder and sighed mightily. I could almost feel his relief. His little body relaxed and quieted. And then. And then, (I am choking up even as I try to type these words) he stretched his little neck, turned up his little face, pressed his lips to my cheek, and kissed me. He nestled down again, this time under my chin. And then he kissed me again. His big eyes sparkled in the glow and flicker of the night light as he looked at me and smiled, like I was the best thing ever. A few minutes later, with a peacefully sleeping son, I crept back down the hallway, overwhelmed with (what I choose to interperate to be) this first pure expression of love. I am the most blessed mommy in the whole wide world.
Today, as our church choir practiced for our Easter Cantata, I was struck again with my personal responsibility for my sin and for the death of Christ on the cross. I am in awe of the Great Love poured out on us through the atoning gift of Jesus, God's only Son. I am without words to describe how utterly unworthy I am to receive His salvation - offered without condition, without cost to me - when it was obviously of great cost to Him.
To be anything but fully prostrated with gratefulness would be an insult to this kind of Love, this kind of sacrifice. I fall on my face before my Lord, and with gulping, heaving sobs try to find words to say to Him.
I am nothing, less than nothing. And you LOVE me. YOU. So far above me. I cannot understand, for Your thoughts are beyond my comprehension. You created me to know You, to love You, and to revel in You and honor You forever. I PRAISE YOU!!!! I am Your child, and You have blessed me with blessings.