on birthdays

August is coming, and it's been since June that I posted.  Life is busy, I'm doing my best to spend less time online and more time in real life, and facebook photos are quick to upload, and statuses (statii?) so quick and easy to update that blogging has taken a back seat.  Our summer, so far?  Looks like this.  Our dinnertime on Monday?  Looked like this.

Birthdays - Aaron's 6th, mine the next day (33!) and then Evan's 4th on the 15th.  It's crazy, birthday month.


Birthdays are good.  Getting older, also good.  What a gracious God to allow us time to know Him here on earth, to build relationships with others, to reflect, to grow, to observe - it's amazing.  Lately, I've been praying with much fervency, that my children will come to know God for themselves; that they will know re-birth in Christ, that they will be made alive spiritually.  Only God can do this work, and it's hard for me to wait!

Six years old seems like a really big deal.  Six years ago, yesterday, I was blogging about my due date, getting larger than life, and updating everyone on the condition of our home.  And looking at that picture - I think I was the biggest with that first baby...thank goodness!  It's been an amazing 6 years, that is for sure.  We have seen God work and watched Him continue to be faithful to us.  How humbling!


Four years old is nothing to sneeze at, either.  Four years ago, I was cleaning up things that I had forgotten about and posting articles about VBAC while trying to decide what God wanted us to do about the birth of child #2. I was also getting ready for the garage sale I would never forget.  I thought I had weeks and weeks, but I really only had weeks.

Anyway, check back on the 2nd.  I'll be having my annual (is it the FIFTH annual, really!?) birthday giveaway.  So you'll want to come back for that.  Even though last year's winner didn't get her prize package until several months later (uh, sorry Rach!), she did get it.  And so will you, if you win.  Can't wait to see you back next week...

poem

Fingers clinging,

Eyelashes resting sweetly on flushed cheek

Monstrous sighs, milk-drunk, content.

Sweet baby girl, your needy days are fleeting

And so soon I will long to rock you,

Hold you close,

Snuggled into my neck.

same yet different

These are pictures of our kids between 9-10 months.  Notice any similarities?

It's so fun to watch them grow. I love these kiddos and love my life!  Thank you, God, for so many blessings!

family updates

So, this blogging business is getting sporadic for me again. The only good thing about it is that my email is no longer inundated with offers for sponsored posts.  That is a very good thing, since my email box is stuffed to overflowing with other junk that I need to sit down and weed out.

Cadey is growing.  This is a very big deal, because she wasn't for a couple months.  I cut out dairy, and that seems to be helping.  Yippee for weight gain!  She's also doing lots of cool things, is seconds away from crawling (on her knees instead of this army crawl she's got going on) and has sprouted three teeth.  Her favorite food of the moment seems to be pinto beans.  She's such a happy girl, and I'm trying to soak in every minute.  It's taken me three kids, but I'm finally beginning to realize the importance of slowing down and soaking in everything.  9 months have flown by. 

Evan is entering the supertalkative three year old phase.  He is hilarious, adorable, and busy!  I'm constantly cracking up at his facial expressions and one-liners. There is a new level of interaction with us, too, which is great.  We are also STILL working on potty training with Evan. I keep trying to remind myself that it won't last forever. Mostly I think that he can't possibly know how hilarious he is, but then again, he is his father's son, so...

Aaron will be finishing kindergarten here in the next few weeks (or maybe the end of summer) and we still are praying about what to do for first grade in the fall.  I'm looking into Classical Conversations, which has a new group starting in our area.  It is very appealing - we shall see!  Aaron is definitely a HUGE helper around here, and he loves it.  We are seeing such growth - in every way.  He's getting so tall, so capable - it's sometimes hard to believe he's just 5!  I'm trying to soak up the days with my oldest boy, and stuff down the panic at the realization that he's going to just keep growing, and that most likely it will feel like it's getting faster & faster!

Michael has been adjusting to some new things with his job - he is now traveling 2 days a week to template countertop jobs - his boss accepted a contract through Home Depot and that has brought tons more work, new guys on the crew, and some long hours. We are so thankful for a steady job and God's provision, and are also looking forward to a slow down once the systems get adjusted.  We are also watching the real estate market closely and praying about when to sell our home and when to buy another one to remodel.  God knows and has perfect timing!

My parents are done with school for the summer!!!!!!!  YAY!!  And will be working on finishing up the inside of their addition.  I have a feeling we'll be over there a lot this summer, and I can't wait.  I have such an awesome family.  My brother Nate was just here for a week, visiting - it was so great to reconnect with them and get to know their girls.  Many fun visits ahead, I am sure.  I wish Michigan was located in a more westerly direction.  Right between Oregon & California would be good! 

Gluten Free Fig Bars

So I've been craving Fig Newtons, ever since I started buying some all natural whole wheat fig bars for my boys for an occasional treat.  They've gobbled them as I sat watching and drooling.  HA!

So I found this recipe and decided to tweak it, as per usual.  I really like simple, and I really dislike mixing flours. The only GF mix I allow in my kitchen is Pamelas.  I recognize the ingredients and that is enough for me. I also don't need to be dairy free or egg free (the original recipe is) Also, I don't usually use refined sugar in baking, preferring honey, but this time I did because I was making other changes and I really wanted these to turn out well the first time.  Next time, honey in the dough.

Here's my modified dough recipe.  All amounts are approximate.  That's why there are pictures.
2T coconut oil
4T butter
1 1/2-2 cups Pamela's Baking Mix
2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1 egg
2 tsp good quality vanilla

And here's my modified filling recipe
8oz dried figs
2 cups apple juice
pinch of salt

I followed the directions at the original recipe, de-stemming and chopping the figs, cooking them down together with the apple juice, creaming the oil/butter together with the sugar, adding the eggs and vanilla and then I basically added baking mix until the dough looked good to me.  Be advised that the fig filling made a lot more than I thought it would.  So I also made a second batch of dough and made a few tarts, and a few sugar cookie type things.  You definitely need to double the dough and make 2 batches of these little gems, or be ready to freeze 1/2 the fig filling for next time.

figs/juice after cooking

dough consistency

fig puree

puree in 9 x 9 on top of dough

crust/puree

top crust

the mistakes baked out

Final thoughts - I cut these into 25 squares, and it is a 9 x 9 pan.  That size bar is good for holding.  The fig filling kind of soaks into the bottom crust, which is very tasty but not ever so sturdy. They are SO GOOD.  Michael doesn't really like desserts, but these taste so buttery that he tasted, dutifully, and returned for more (not out of duty).  When they first are done, there is a really nice crisp to the top layer of crust, but after storing them in an airtight container overnight, the crust has a definite softness.  Either way is delicious!

If you test the flour blend in the original recipe, let me know!

of chicken most delicious

So I've been on a "real food" lifestyle change around here, but that doesn't prevent me from making this chicken. It's so good. It's so easy. It's so good. This is one of my few remaining holdout recipes that includes processed ingredients. And you could totally make this with homemade mayo (which I have not made to date) so I'm not that far off, right?! 

Chicken, 3 large boneless breast pieces, cut in half the long way (to make them thinner)
Mayo, about 2/3 cup, or a big spoonful
Mustard, (spicy brown or other grainy type works best) about a tablespoon, or a good healthy squirt
Onion Powder, a generous sprinkle, or green onions/chives
Cheese, any kind, about a cup shredded
Corn Flake or Bread Crumbs (I use GF)

Mix the mayonnaise, mustard, your choice of onion flavoring, and cheese together until it makes a thick mixture. Spread on the chicken, sprinkle generously with the crumbs of your choice, bake, covered, at 350* until done.  Serve with whatever you like. (I'm a sucker for fresh green beans or asparagus, personally) Uncover for the last little bit if you like a crunchy crust.

Enjoy! 

the brotherhood.

Evan: Aaron, get back here, I'm trying to presto you into a princess!!!
Aaron: I don't want to be a princess!!!
E: oh, a prince then. PRESTO! you're a prince!
A: GRRRRRR
E: a mad prince. you're a mad prince!

(cough cough aCHOO!)

They are sick today, but they are still cracking me up!

Surviving and Thriving

It's no secret that I'm not a HUGE fan of ladies' meetings or conferences - at least, not the type of meetings I imagine they are. I've never been a girly-girl, rarely been excited to sit around whispering hushed secrets of laundry stain removal (obviously), time management (obviously) or sharing "prayer requests" while other women nod knowingly. Raised eyebrows optional.

Of course, the few times I've actually gone to a church retreat or conference or seminar, it was about 300% better than I expected.

A big part of me hungers for a woman to speak God's Word in a practical, deep, knowing way - without the trappings of "we women" and "you know how it is, ladies." Because I'm just a believer, hungry for God and His Word, true Christian fellowship, adult conversation about things that really matter, and I happen to be a woman.

And maybe other women really love those trappings, and I'm just the odd one (no surprises if that is the case) and I know God uses it, because He can and does use anyone at any time to accomplish HIS purposes. And lately, He has been using that phrase, that I heard at a women's conference, to be my mantra.

This work that He has me doing is not easy. It's not the hardest thing anyone has ever done - don't get me wrong. My friend Heather is now in Heaven, and the struggle of her journey these last few months doesn't even compare to my daily life. And, my daily life isn't even that different from what people and families have done for generations, with varying degrees of uniqueness and difficulty. It's not a comparison game, this work, our struggles.

I do know that is that it is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I do struggle with what God wants me to do. I pray, I worry, I wonder. I cry out for wisdom, I wallow in failures, I choose joy and I choose self-pity. I change diapers, I nurse a baby, I home school a crazy kindergartener, I corral and/or occupy a busy three year old, I make a lot of mistakes, I learn much of grace - and at the end of the day, I'm exhausted. In a very, very good way.

I would love to say that I love every minute, but I don't. I don't love the sibling spats, I don't love watching my beautiful children's eyes darken in defiance, and I don't love my reactions. I don't love sin, I don't love watching people I love suffer, I don't love wondering if I'm really getting to the heart of the matters at hand, and I DON'T love knowing that it's a process and I'll never really know the answer to 93% of my questions until the answer is no longer relevant.

However, there is a lot that I do love. I do love those hilarious quotables, the giggle fests, the made up stories, the hugs for no reason at all, the "I love you mommy" whispers, the slow, milk-drunk grin of the baby, the lightbulb moments, the good news, the supportive arm of a loving spouse, the excellent (albeit endless) questions, and so, I'm doing more than surviving.

Sometimes God lets me step back, and look, and see this tiny part of what He has already done, and it is awesome. It's this strange and wonderful painting of darks and lights. It's uniquely ugly and uniquely bright. It's something I could never have dreamed up. It's breathtaking.

I have to seize this calling, this thing He has created me to do, and I have to cling to Him, to lean on Him heavily. He wants me to trust, to let go of my own ideas, the desire for things I can't know or control, and grasp this, grasp Him. It is then that I thrive.

"¹⁴ But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. ¹⁵ For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. ¹⁶ To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?" (1 Cor 2:14-16, niv)

Cooking a Little Extra

I found a picture of a gorgeously organized freezer on Pinterest the other day, and drooled. And then I repinned it for inspiration.

This is not that picture, this is my freezer. It's not nearly as pretty, but it definitely works for us. See that box marked "premade" - the former amazon box? That is my lifesaver.

Someone commented on my gorgeous inspiration freezer photo - that a friend of theirs couldn't afford to buy ahead that much. A valid thought - not too many can just fork out enough money in one chunk for a month's worth of meals. But...just about everyone CAN afford to do modified freezer cooking. This is not to say that everyone HAS to, but it is very, very helpful for any busy mom.

The first time I did freezer cooking, for real, was when Cadence's delivery was pending - I had a goal to get it all done by 37 weeks of pregnancy. I wanted at least a months' worth of main dishes, and I got it done, praise the Lord. I mentioned in the post that I spent $150 on the food, but in reality it was a little more than that, if you figure in what I already had on hand (included ground beef I had in the freezer.) I can't tell you how awesome it was to have dinner ready to go. I got used to how easy it is. And now we do modified freezer cooking.

So, if you can't afford to buy a whole months' worth of food in one week and cook it up, you don't have to! If you don't have space for a whole months' worth of food for your freezer, that's fine! This photo here (the one with the processed meal in it?) has main dish items - or parts of main dish items - for 9 meals in those little quart size freezer bags. It's totally do-able.

Anyone can benefit from the ease of having a meal or two in the freezer (the type of meal that isn't a frozen pizza). My favorite items are precooked meats. This type of thing means that I can get a dinner together in less time than it would take to go pick up fast food. Which is KEY when the troops are hungry!

Below, from left to right - meatballs (36) 3 meal-size amounts of chicken taco filling, 2 cups of cooked and chopped chicken in a bag.

Bear with me - I'm going to tell you what I do. Last week, chicken was on sale for $1.69/lb at a local meat/fruit market - so I bought 10 lbs of chicken for $17 – this equals meat for 9 meals for 4 eaters (2 adults and 2 hungry boys)

Chicken Tacos 3 lbs = 3 meals + leftovers -Chicken ($5) + Salsa ($2- 1½ cup) + taco seasonings (cumin, chili powder, seasoned salt -a few cents) a total of around $7 for 3 meals. I divided the meat up into 3 qt size ziploc bags, squished out the air, and froze them flat.

2 lbs cut up chicken pieces frozen raw (1 inch cubes) for tikka masala or stir fry (3.38) in ziplocs frozen flat. For stir fry, I use wheat-free soy sauce, onion or onion powder, garlic or garlic powder, and sesame oil and whatever veggies I have. My family really likes broccoli slaw in stir fry. For Tikka Masala, I use a modified recipe that is a little complicated, but I freeze the chicken IN the marinade to cut down on time.

The remaining 5 lbs, I baked and cut into chunks for casseroles, soups, wraps, chicken salad, etc. ($8.45) Divided into 4 bags (a little over 2 cups per bag) also in ziplocks frozen flat.

We'll eat a couple chicken based meals this week, and still have enough for the next week, when I'll cook extra beef and make a couple bags of beef taco filling for the freezer, or a double batch of meatballs, or double the amount of burgers for the grill (I like to season the meat for patties with worchestershire sauce, Mrs. Dash Steak blend, and salt), freeze them and use later.

The next week, I might have a couple chicken meals left, so it's time for pork - I might buy a pork loin if it's on sale and cook 1/2 of it in the crock pot with garlic and onion, then shred it up and have pulled pork for BBQ sandwiches, or BBQ pizza, two or three meals' worth - then cook the other 1/2 with mild banana pepper rings and garlic and onion and have a Qdoba-like shredded meat we serve with rice and beans for a delicious meal - and I'll have two or three meals' worth, frozen in bags.

So each week when I shop, I just buy the meat that is on sale. I do enjoy cooking, so on the days when I have the extra time, I make a meal that doesn't involve anything pre-cooked. Or some days I'll do a crock pot meal and skip the freezer meals. So it's not a freezer meal every day.

I've been meaning to do the same with baking - make a double batch of muffins and freeze some for quick breakfasts, etc. but I just haven't made the time.

That, and my kids smell muffins and they're pretty much already gone.

And this is how excited I am when I don't have to wonder (or work very hard) at what is for supper.

YAY!

Amazon

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You guys are the best.

our reality

Today was a big day. We finished the kindergarten reading curriculum. Nevermind that it's not comprehensive, we've been supplementing. It was just really fun to get to the end of the sticker path and earn the "I DID IT" sticker. Bonus, Aaron is super excited to start the first grade HOP curriculum.

Here's how we'd like to think homeschooling goes - the photo to the left. Sunlight streams through the window, the table is wiped clean, and all is blissful as the boys soak in the wisdom and knowledge I have to share with them.

And here is how it actually goes:

well....you'll have to add me on google+ to watch the video.

I'm so (un)impressed.

Mitt Romney left a voice mail at my house last night. No, really. It was his voice, telling me how sorry he was to have missed me and that he would "be in touch" I am soooooooooo bummed that I missed him.

*end sarcasm*

Dear people who use auto-dial services,
Please don't pretend to be a real person calling me. In fact, please stop using auto dial services. Especially please don't use auto-dial to smear someone else in politics. Send a letter or run your ads on TV like usual. Just don't call me. And for you companies that use auto-dial to advertise your services or worse yet, ask me to hold for the next available operator? Same thing. Don't call me. That is all.

Me.

PS, I am equally annoyed by recordings answering the phone and telling me "I didn't understand that response"

fleeting.

The days slip by. They do. And before I know it, I'm looking at pictures from what seems like last week, and hair has grown, and leaves have fallen, and somehow we all kept going, and growing, and learning. Somehow things that need to be put away stay NOT put away, and somehow we find time to plan date nights, craft a Pinterest pin, dig out schoolbooks semi regularly, dust occasionally, update Facebook, make dinner, make beds, change diapers, and love my family. I do love capturing moments like this one. I want to pause the days. They move, they slip through my fingers, and will soon be gone.

Colorado Family Time

Michael's sister Sarah called a few months ago to let us know about some great deals from Southwest. We were able to spend a week in Colorado and had a great time with the family - all but one of the siblings were able to come. Eleven cousins and five siblings together in one place = a crazy good time! Here are a couple pictures of Michael's side of the family! (more on Facebook soon!) We went to the zoo, hung out at the house, ate a LOT of Mexican food, laughed and talked. It was great to catch up with everyone in person!

four months

Cadence is four months old. I can't believe it! Here are some of the things she's been doing lately:

1. grabbing toys and passing them from hand to hand
2. watching all the action all around her
3. sleeping a lot
4. grinning at us all and giggling a lot
5. eating her toes
6. sitting up almost all by herself
7. getting kissed and hugged by her brothers (almost to excess)
8. rolling over
9. making us all smile
10. helping reality set in - that we do, indeed, have a girl child in our home.

Cadence, my dear - you are a joy! We love you!!

blah diddy blah blah blah

Ever feel like you're talking, and all that your kids hear is noise? Or that you've said the same thing a kajillion times and they just can't seem to remember.

I do.

And I don't have any answers. So, if you have some suggestions on how to motivate kids to listen, really listen - I'm all ears.

I've been learning a lot about how selfish I am lately - how much I want approval and love and cooperation from those three little people I serve, how much it bothers me when I don't get it. (and How stupid that sounds to say out loud.) How thankless it is to be a mom at this stage. It makes me a lot more thankful for my own mom. A lot.

It also gives me a perspective on my relationship with my own Heavenly Father that I wasn't expecting - especially when it comes to trivial thank you's. We've been having our kids say thank you before they can be excused at a meal. It's kind of ironic that the way they thank me after a meal is often the same way I thank God FOR my meal. And let me tell you, there are days that the thank you is heartfelt and sweet, and there are days that thank you is as careless as can be. I prefer the first.

Yep, motherhood is so much more than I expected, and in some ways, so much less. I DO love my kids, so much, and I'm grateful that God has seen fit to have me be the one to teach them about Him, about life, and about what it means to love others. What a heavy, heavy responsibility. What a loving God, and what a vast storehouse of His grace is there for me. Every day.

One of many

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Adjustments

People keep asking me how we're adjusting, and let me tell you, my answer is this:

Better than I expected!

Cadence is a super relaxed baby. She sleeps a lot during the day still - and when she's not sleeping, she is very happy to hang out in her swing, kick her legs around while lying on the floor, work on her rolling over skills, and smile at anyone who is within her sight. She's really really awesome. It helps that she has two brothers who adore her, of course.

When we had Aaron, I thought he was pretty laid back, a good baby.

Then Evan came and I thought, "wow, good thing Aaron came first!" Evan was a dream baby who blew away my concept of laid back.

Now Cadence! WOW! Am I ever blessed.

On the other hand, we still have rough days - take yesterday, for example. A mess up at the bank (their fault), followed by a 3-kid trip to Meijer (which went very well!) followed by a miserable loading-of-the-van experience in the parking lot and some cutting words from a no-doubt-well-meaning stranger. Then we had a whine-all-the-way home trip, which wore the nerves right out of me. Cadence was crying at that point because she'd been awake for an hour with no food. When we finally made it into our house, I had a screaming hungry baby, and whining, complaining, temper-tantrum throwing children screaming their lunchtime demands at their mother. Top this off with an entire collection of family toothbrushes shoved down the sink drain by a curious three year old?

When I opened my mouth to respond, it was not my finest moment. Not by a long shot.

So when I caught a whiff of this article on a friend's facebook page during (attempted) nap time, I read it eagerly. Some very good reminders, some interesting thoughts, and you know what? I am so SO glad that I have God to help me through those rough days. I'm sure he used that friend's timely post to help give me some extra coping tools.

In the midst of it, of course, all I could think about was throwing in the towel, calling Michael and telling him the kids would be listed on Craigslist when he got home. (I jest. Maybe.) But I do have an anchor, a rock, and even though at the end of yesterday I was D.O.N.E., God quietly reminded me of His mercies, new every morning, and His grace, sufficient for each day. His grace, extended in forgiveness when I fail. Miserably.

Today has been infinitely better. I'm so glad bad days are most often followed by good. I am so glad I have a Savior, a shelter, and a God who cares about me, my small children, and our terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days.

Triple Date Day

In honor of the second-to-last triple date day I ever have a chance of seeing, three new things for our family:

1. We just took an extended-weekend family vacation. Photos here. We had an awesome time just relaxing and making memories and will be forever grateful to Tiffany for letting us borrow her rental for the weekend.

2. Aaron can now tie his shoes with no help. When that kid sets his mind to something, it gets done.

3. Cadence has been doing great, sleeping through the night, smiling, growing faster than any other Muth prior. I'm going to have to break out the 3-6 month clothes before I know it.

And, Happy 11th anniversary to K & J. Hope you do something fun. Because this date is certainly fun. 11-11-11.

Gluten Free Morning Muffins

These muffins are an adaption of a recipe from the Bob's Red Mill website, adapted because of what I had and did not have on hand. I've made them twice in as many weeks, so you know the whole family loves them! They keep at room temperature much better than most GF items, although I did throw them in the freezer after 3 days.

1 cup brown rice flour
1 cup ground almonds (I put almonds in the blender until they were ground but still a little chunky)
1 cup gluten free oat flour (GF oats in the blender again)
3/4 cup flaxseed meal
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup honey
1 cup raisins
1 cup chopped nuts (I omitted these; unsweetened coconut would also be fabulous, or use sweetened and reduce or omit the sugar)
1 1/2 cups finely shredded carrots
2 apples, peeled & shredded
3/4 cup milk (the first time I made these it needed a little more)
2 eggs, beaten
2 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350* and combine the dry ingredients in a bowl. Add the carrots and apples to the dry mix. Combine milk, eggs, and vanilla, then add to the dry ingredients and stir until moistened. If needed, gradually add small amounts of milk until the batter looks like muffins.

Line a muffin pan with paper cups, spoon the mixture into the cups and bake 15-20 minutes until tops are slightly browned and spring back when tapped lightly. 15-24 muffins depending on ingredients added (size of the apples, whether or not you add nuts, etc). Today I made 12 muffins and poured the rest into a loaf pan.

Enjoy!