Hee Hee Hee

Check this out and tell me who pops into your head as being the PERFECT recipient.

getting duller

I used to be articulate. I used to be able to keep a to do list in my head, and not forget. I used to be well read and up on current events. I used to polish my shoes on a weekly basis, and never, ever missed a shower. I used to be able to remember the names of the authors of great literary works. I used to read more than the nutrition panels on boxes of breakfast cereal. And I used to know right and left without looking down to see which hand my wedding band is on.

Then, I had children. And I realize how much sleep is worth. It's value is pure gold. Platinum. More. And I'm realizing that I wasn't really ever that creative or clever. It was simply that I was gluttonously imbibing in hours upon hours of uninterrupted sleep.

When Aaron was about 18 months, I got the hang of our new normal, finally, and was almost back to my rested self...only to get pregnant again. Now, with two children, I wonder what I was fussing about with one. And I'm sure mothers of three and five and seven look at me and my crazy hair and wrinkled pants and sigh disparagingly.

Well, I reason, today is different. It must be this sinus pressure that is causing all the confusion, all the sleepiness. Ha. ha. ha. Who am I kidding?

I don't really mind this loss of mental acuity. But I would be in denial to not confess that I do hope my articulate self will one day return. I definitely wouldn't trade my kids for anything, and I would rather be here with them than anywhere else.

And, I'm still trying to learn things, even though I'm not so good at remembering. Today, as it has been for weeks, my prayer is simply this:

"Lord, help me to seek You as diligently as I seek sleep!"

it's that time

Well, I've officially reached the stage of this pregnancy in which none of the clothing created for this stage (or otherwise) will stay put. I speak specifically of shorts, pants, skirts, etc. I feel like I'm constantly tugging and pulling and doing all sorts of gymnastic maneuvers just to keep the bottoms up and stay covered.

It might be time to put away the wide elastic band pants and the non maternity large sized shorts and break out the ugly and hot cover-the-whole-belly-panel pants. It might be a bit hotter and more restrictive, but at least I won't have an indecent exposure charge to worry about. Do you think they would cut a pregnant woman chasing a toddler any (ehem, er) slack in court?

Did I mention those over the belly styles are stinking hot? Anybody have any suggestions? Maybe sundresses are the wave of my future.

a bit obsessive

So three posts in one day might be overkill, but I need tell this story. Today.

I canceled my OB appointment for this morning. It was a horrible time for us, schedule-wise and I have another visit scheduled for the 15th. And I must admit that the idea of a 40 minute drive each way with a 15-20 minute wait and a 5 minute appointment WITH a toddler in tow whose nap would be non existent did not really appeal to me. Especially since I'm feeling good and doing fine. Especially since I have another (more important!!!) meeting scheduled for this afternoon and we would have to go right to that one after the OB appointment. (notice, if you will, the lack of nap)

I felt no remorse, no guilt, had no second thoughts.

So I get this call from the mature, old school nurse who asked me to reschedule for the 8th and wants me to come in at the exact same time. Whereupon I tell her that is not going to work, whereupon she tells me in no uncertain terms that I'm putting myself at risk by waiting until the 15th. "Especially" she added, "since it has already been more than two weeks since your last appointment."

Imagine the hairs on my neck standing on end. The reason today's appointment was not scheduled earlier is that there were no openings when I scheduled my next appointment. It was an office blunder.

And what are they going to do this time that is so all-fired important that it can't wait another week? Check to make sure I'm still measuring correctly? Check my blood pressure again? Listen to the baby's heart rate again? Then tell me that everything looks great?

"You know" I said with an auditory smile, "I'd really just prefer to wait until the 15th. It's only one more week." And she repeated her earlier argument.

PLEASE NOTE: This is the same nurse who, on my first visit to this new doc, rattled off a list of scary and invasive tests that they were planning to do and then said cheerily, "Now let me take your blood pressure!"

Since she repeated her argument, I repeated mine (that's only fair, right?) "You know" I said, with a little less of a smile, "I'd really just prefer to wait until the 15th. It's only one more week."

Silence. I could almost hear crickets chirping.

"All right dear, you take care of yourself now. I will make a note of this and we will see you on the fifteenth."

Knowing how medical records are kept, I wonder what "make a note of this" means. I wonder if this will show up like the previous "go against the flow" medical decisions I've made. "Patient refused to reschedule" or "Patient refused adequate medical care" or something to that effect. I'm sure on paper I appear to be the world's most difficult patient.

Really, dear nurse, you could have saved yourself a call and me a momentary spike in my blood pressure.